Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Eyebrow waxing gone wrong...very, very, wrong!

As if my week hasn't been bad enough...

First I apparently look old enough to be one of my very best friends mothers, an article is printed in one of the local papers about the Evening of Hope which includes the WORLDS WORST picture of me EVER, then I get on the scale and it clearly isn't my friend, not that it ever was.

I need to find something to wear to a charity event Saturday {we were told today that the dress is formal, denim, diamonds, and boots...really jeans on the bottom with  formal wear on the top} so my "daughter", being the good friend that she is, rushed over arms full of clothes for me to try on, most of the things she brought me the zipper wouldn't even come close to zipping. I must of been completely delusional to even agree to try on her clothes but since most of my weight is on the bottom I thought it could possibly work. I did keep a top and jacket that fit and will look amazing when I'm "done-up" and in a pair of my big-girl-jeans. 

So fast forward about an hour or so when I take Honey to have her eyebrows waxed, I say, 'I'll have mine done too since I'm here, they've always done a great job on yours'. Now this place is the only place that Honey can go where the wax doesn't remove her skin with the hair and like I said they have always done a great job. Apparently I got the new girl and lets just say the new girl needs to have her Visa revoked...like yesterday! Girlfriend waxed off the last 1/2 inch of my freaking eyebrow! On both sides! If forced to find the silver lining in this I can say that at least they match. I literally thought I was going to throw up when I saw them. It's so bad I teared up in front of my kid and came close to hyperventilating. Needless to say, my service was free! The owner offered to take me back to "fix them", my reply was 'oh is there a new way to put the hair back on that I don't know about?'. She told me to come back in 2 weeks and she would fix them then, like they're going to grow back in 2 freaking weeks! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

We drove directly across the street to Walgreens where I made a rather large purchase which included, anti-aging wrinkle-control foundation, eyelash glue, and false eyelashes. I then came home, cut the eyelashes into single hairs and glued my eyebrows back on. I also freshened up my make-up because I felt just plain u-g-l-y then took a xannax. Ok I took two. Don't judge me, it was a tough day! I guess this will be my new daily routine until my eyebrows grow back in, if they do at all. Oh Lord I hope they do! 

I also called to have highlights put back in my hair, scheduled a tan, and left a message for the dermatologist to call me back for a round of Botox. 

Getting old cannot be stopped but getting old and ugly can! I'm going down kicking and screaming people ~ kicking and screaming. 

This is what my eyebrow looked like before I was attacked with the jar of wax

And this is what it looks like now! SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!! 
For all that is holy in this world what am I going to do!

P.S. To my older sisters, whom I love VERY much, I am so sorry for all of the "old" comments over the years, please be gentle in 2 years when the big 4-0 knocks on my door!


Natalie said...

Oh no girl -- that is toooo much!!!!

You are not fat -- you are beautiful and are going to look like one HOT SASSY MAMA (no pun intended) on Sat night ... WORK IT GIRL!!!

The waxing ... oh boy, I'm sorry, I'll be supportive in just a minute .....

Sheila said...

Not much can be said about the waxing except I'm sorry however plenty can be said about all the old age comments. I'm so looking forward to what waits for you in just a few short years!

lora said...

shawn i have not laughed that hard in so long no offense seriously still laughing i guess you'd have to had it done to you before to understand the hilarity of it!

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