I feel like the worst Mom ever!
Back in March Peanuts hamster died, she was heartbroken. We went to replace him and she feel in love with a guinea pig. Much to my husbands disapproval I caved and let her get it. A few days later after hearing Honey complain of not getting one after "I asked first and was told no, yadda, yadda, yadda" I went back and bought a second one.
Now we've had Alice and Aphrodite since March and for the pass 7 months I have either had to loss my ever lovin' mind yelling at the girls to feed them and clean them or do it myself. I do not enjoy either one of those.
To say Alice and Aphrodite have been the root of many an argument and "Bad Mommy Moments" would be an understatement! After going Linda Blair on them yesterday the decision was made to finally follow through with my threats and take them to a local pet store for them find a new home.
As tears rolled down Peanuts cheeks and new promises were made for it to be different this time I did not cave but I did suffer a broken heart.
I'm the one that agreed to left her have Alice. I'm the one that went back and purchased Aphrodite for Honey. It was my decision and now I'm not holding up to it. But the thought of going another 6 years like this is honestly more than I can handle.
When Peanut went to bed last night she asked me if there was a pretty good chance she would come home and Alice would be gone. I was honest and said yes. I know she was crying as I turned her lights out.
I know that doing it without them will be easier than having them cry and plead in the store for "just one more chance" but I'm not looking forward to the end of the school day! I'm not looking forward to Peanut running to her room to see if they're still there and then crying when she sees they're not. I'm just NOT PREPARED to hurt her.
Even as I write this I'm not so sure I can go through with it. The guilt of being the one to inflict heartache on my children is overcoming me. I have a knot in my stomach and a lump in throat but losing my control and yelling at them is certainly no better than the temporary pain this will cause.
I need to remove the things that stand in the way of me being the best Mom I can be. Too much stress. Too many things on my to-do list. Overcommitting, even if the commitments are good ones. Too much of anything is never a good thing!
Being a Mom sure does suck sometimes!
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13 comments:
It does suck to be the Mom sometimes!! My children wanted pets and I make them feed & clean up after them on a daily basis. If they didn't, I would probably do what you are doing!!
I totally agree with you. Being a mom seriously sucks sometimes...
I 'quit' my job on a weekly basis but they keep insisting I come back :)
My kids are on a pet kick - we only have hermit crabs at the moment. Guess who is taking care of them? BING BING BING - ME. If we're going to have pets in this house, I want it to be one I will enjoy, since I'll be taking care of it. Now to convince Matt to let me have a cat.
Stick to your guns Shawn, it's a hard lesson to teach but pets are a responsibility. And they didn't hold up to their end of the bargain. :(
I don't think you're a bad mom. I think you're teaching them a valuable life lesson. If you let them keep the gp and they refuse to follow up with their promises and responsibilities and you step in to do it for them, what do they learn? That mom will always step in and do the things they don't want to do? Having a pet is a huge responsibility and there are unfortunate consequences when you can't or won't follow through.
Hang in there, S. I know this hurts but I think you are doing the right thing.
My heart is sad for you! You are doing the right thing though whatever you decide! If you take them back then next time the girls will remember that you aren't messing around when you say what you say. I always hate to have to follow through with stuff I say sometimes when I know that it will make Kane sad, but how will they ever take us seriously if we don't follow through sometimes ya know? I've got your back and you are an awesome mom!
You missed a word in that last sentence, "Being a GOOD mom is hard!!" I feel exactly the same way when I have to be the bad guy and it hurts to hurt your children's feelings!! Ugh- I feel for what you are going through. That said. THEY WILL NEVER NOT TAKE CARE OF A PET AGAIN!! You are teaching them a valuable lesson- don't cave in!!
~Becca
I know it is tough to be bad cop sometimes. Sometimes it is a struggle to follow through, especially when you know they are going to be so upset. If you can try to stick to your guns. You could also put the responsibility on them and say for the next 7 days if they do not take care of their pet, they will have to send them back. If the the pets go, then then it is their fault not yours! Just an idea, but just do what works for you and your family. Good Luck!
You're doing the right thing -- the worst thing you can do (hello, like i need to be telling YOU this, it should be the other way around .. let me introduce myself, My name is Pot ... hello Kettle) .. anyway, the worse thing you can do is not follow through.
Peanut will be fine. She'll bounce right back.
It is so hard to see their hearts breaking, but they have to have responsibilities and listen too. I know exactly how you feel. I got nothing...cause discipline and follow through are my weaknesses. Grrr. BEing a mom is hard work.
awww.... Try not to feel too bad.... You're doing the right thing..... ( why does the right thing always have to be the hard thing??)
Wow... I hope you changed your mind. Pets become a part of the family. I know I'm the only person who disagrees with the decision, but I do. We had guinea pigs, and yes, I ended up doing the work and I'll never get another one, but it was my choice to buy them for my daughter, so in reality it was my responsibility no matter what promises she made.
I feel for you though, whatever decision you made.
I agree with Jenn in the comment above that pets are a part of the family. However, as it stands, the girls are NOT treating them as if they are a part of the family.
By sticking to your guns, you are teaching the girls that there are consequences for their actions. You are teaching them that they can take their mother at her word.
If you go ahead and let them keep the GPs, you will teach them that tears get them what they want... and you'll still end up cleaning cages and feeding rodents.
And yes, to Becca: It is hard to be a GOOD mom. (And that is what you're doing.)
wow...so did you do it!!??
our cats drive me crazy sometimes...I got mad the other day and put them both out side and told the boys not to let them in....I guess it really hurt my 10 year olds feelings...the next morning he said , "mom...you know how you want people to be nice to cows...well can you please be nice to the cats too..." (since my diet is Vegan) I cracked up....and let the cats come back in.... ;)
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