Hello my name is Rogue...

Yes, this is Rogue and I have hacked into my Moms blog.

My Mom, Shawn, reads a lot of blogs, too many if you ask me and the rest of the family but whatever. Anyway, I have heard her talk about blogs where the dogs of the house are given the opportunity to speak their minds on their Moms blogs. I think it's a wonderful idea however my Mom believes it to be weird and as a result will not allow me or my sisters access to her beloved MAC. She said something about not wanting to be known as the "weird dog lady" {she really has no clue that she already is one} and that people wouldn't enjoy hearing what I have to say. I totally disagree! So you can only imagine how excited I was upon discovering I was left unattended this morning. Alone and out of my cage! Two of my favorite things. Yes, I am alone and not locked up! Why? How? Well that dip-shit my Mom calls her husband forgot to put me in my cage this morning when he went to work. I swear he's the first to complain about the things I get into and how much it's costing him to have me around but he does nothing to help. Perhaps if he let me outside in the morning, giving my Mom a few more minutes to sleep, instead of going straight to the bathroom or fed me once in a while, removing one thing from my Moms evening routine, I wouldn't feel the need to poop in the house {of which I no longer do} or eat things that are not made for canine consumption. But hey I'm "just a dog", what do I know!

So, here I am and honestly it's not as much fun as I thought it would be. To tell you the truth I would much rather be romping through the sand, digging holes in the back yard, eating socks, panties or paper towels. Annoying Belle until she barks and gets yelled at, getting her into trouble is always fun. Or maybe chasing my tail or playing tag with my best friend Deja. Deja. I ♥ Deja! You really wanna know what I would rather be doing? I would love to be humping Deja, you know my BFWB {best friend with benefits}, right now. Yes, that would be such a better use of my "alone" time. Mom catches me every single time I'm trying to get my groove on. It's like she has an "I'm horny radar" or can hear Barry White singing, I thought he was just in my head. Sheesh! What's a guy have to do to have a little privacy in this house?

Anyway, back to the point of my post. I think I've gotten a bad wrap on this stupid blog! It's bad enough that everyone knows I have a fetish with socks and panties, that I love to roll in the sand and track it in the house, that I have to be watched while doing a very personal bodily function to see if anything "foreign" comes out of my ars and if I was a girl I would really be pissed off that everyone knows I weigh 73 pounds. But I totally think the line has been crossed. I believe it has gone too far and for the record I am fed up! So fed up that I'm coming clean right here right now. I'm tired of hanging my head in shame! I'm done hiding!

My name is Rogue and I have an erectile dysfunction. That would be an erectile dysfunction of the ears sickos! I'll have you know I can get 'em up any time I want! It's just the pressure to perform for my Mom, like a freaking puppet on a string, especially when there's a camera involved. It's getting the better of me I tell ya. The pressure to be "perfect" in today society is just too much! I feel as if I'm under a microscope all of time, this constant scrutiny must stop!

So I'm here to tell my Mom and everyone else...

No more forms!

No more tape!

No more freaking business cards!

No more hiding!

Hello my name is Rogue. I am a floppy eared German Shepherd and I'm freaking cute as hell!

Deja my love, where are you?

Crap, is that the garage door already?

ROGUE