Cruisin'

I'm home from the cruise and we had a blast! The weather was a little temperamental but fun is where you make it not where you find it, at least that's my opinion!

There are a ton of great pictures from the cruise, most of them are in the "disco" and involve shots. Crazy suburban wives, get us out of our daily routine and you never know what might happen. Thank you Babe for giving me the opportunity to let loose with my girls for a few days and for holding down the fort while I was gone. I love you!

Getting ready to sail away. All 60+ woman had on teal, I'm not sure where the other half of us are.

In our stateroom, gotta love the timer application on your camera!

"Elegant Night", I swear we didn't call one another and ask what we were wearing this time!

As soon as we hit Mexican waters the sun came out and it warmed it. We had a great day walking around Cozumel but couldn't wait to get back to the ship to sit pool-side while it was quite.

Our last night. We are proof that 40 is the new 30!

I did meet someone "famous" on the ship but that's another story all it's own, stay tuned.

Me & Kim are like this...

I couldn't nail a stud if I was Kim Kardashian! A 2x4 stud that is, remember I am married to Babe!

This week while I was trying to hang a traverse rod, you know to make nailing my stud a little more romantic and relaxing with window treatments and all {we haven't had window treatments in the bedroom for over 2 years. When we put in wood floors they came down and I just never got around to replacing them. But after our Pastor and his darling wife talked all about what should be going on in the marriage bed I decided window treatments needed to be a priority!}. So I set off to Bed Bath and Beyond and bought what I needed.

Babe is a lot of things, patient and handy when it comes to household repairs isn't one of them so I had to do it myself. Now I admit, I have one mean temper especially when it comes to not being able to do something and if what's stopping me is physical strength that makes it even worse!

So when I stood atop my ladder, power drill in hand and after carefully measuring to make sure everything would be just perfect I hit a freaking stud! Actually I don't even think it was a stud I think it was concert freaking block! So I got pissed and being true to myself I proceeded to beat the ever lovin' crap out of the wall. I beat that biotch until it had a beautiful hole in it! Whatever, the drapes will cover it up!

This is actually before I lost my control a second time...it's much worse now, it's now a huge hole with dent marks from the hammer, scratches in the paint and pieces of drywall now lie on the floor!

Go ahead, judge away!

So you you know what Kim Kardashian, my new BFF, and I have in common...we both excel at nailing studs!

Off to my cruise....be back Tuesday try not to miss me too much!

I'm shocked that I'm still shocked!

You know over the years I have come to expect some things and when I don't get, see, find or experience them I'm still shocked. Why? You would think that after seeing the things I've seen nothing would shock or surprise me anymore. But nope, I'm still left standing with my jaw dropped scratching my head more times than not.

For instance...

** When did it become acceptable to wear pajamas and slippers while shopping? I see people straight from bed, the bed head is the proof, at the grocery store, Walmart and even the mall. Have these people no pride?!!? I wear mine while taking Peanut to school in the morning but I don't get out of the car in them. And don't even get me started on rollers in the hair, hair net on top and all. I thought people stopped doing that in 1978!

** Why does the lady that waxes my eyebrows and lip not feel the need to brush her teeth? For all that is holy in this world you're standing 3" above my nose the least you can do is pop a freaking mint! Have you ever tried to hold your breath during a complete waxing?

** Who in their right mind would return a USED toothbrush? I swear it happened yesterday right in front of me at my local Walmart! I just can't make this stuff up! He returned a used toothbrush because the bristles were too firm! Perhaps he should have given it to the lady that waxes my lip!

** When did toilet paper become such a hot commodity that it requires being locked up? This was taken at the courthouse while on a field trip with Honey.

** Speaking of Honey. When did I get old enough to have a daughter that drives. She's been driving since November and I'm still shocked each and every time she asks "can I drive?" Here she is getting her permit, she's such a goof-ball!

** I would love to walk through the mall without being accosted by the people working at the kiosks. You know the ones with extremely broken English that want to sell you cuticle softener, screen protectors for you cell phones, better wireless service and hair products. And by the way, am I the only one that thinks that if you're going to try and sell me a product that will make my hair straight and sleek yours should be that way first. Don't make me ask you to sit down so I can do your hair!

** Stupid people still shock the crap 0ut of me. Now before you get all angry at me for being mean and judgmental I'll own up to not the brightest crayon in the box! But I can count change without using my fingers, a piece of receipt paper pulled from the register or asking you "is that right?". If you tell me "oh, wait I have a penny" I'm not going to go all deer in the headlights on you. I can also figure out how to cut a pizza into squares. I cannot tell you how many times I have tried to explain to the person taking my order that you can in fact cut a round pizza into square pieces. "But Ma'am, you do the know the pizza is round right?". Seriously! I almost always end up telling them to not cut the pizza at all...that really freaks them out!

I swear I hear C & C Music Factory singing Things That Make You Go Hmmmm multiple times a day. I hear Bill Engvall's Here's Your Sign from time to time too!

Do you want to know what Kim Kardashian and I have in common? I'll give you a hint, it's not our bra size but come back tomorrow and I'll tell ya!

No thanks necessary

Picture this...

It's 7:50ish and Peanut and I are on our way to school. We were of course running late, so late that instead of taking the 2 minutes to put Rogue in his cage I let him join us. A car ride is usually something that only Deja gets to do but again I was running late. So we're approaching the school when I hear the ever so distinctive sound that I have come to dread. The sound of Rogue wrenching from the depths of his belly about to bring something up. I turn just in time to see a sock being tossed from his mouth onto the seat of my car. Aww but the sock was not alone it was accompanied with some lovely yellow bile that smells like freaking death. The runny yellow stink is now running down my seats finding it's way into every crease and ending up pooling in the pouch that holds the seat belt. I quickly pull the car over, jump out and grab the roll of paper towels from the back and clean it up all the while Peanut is in the the front seat gaging!

At this point I was very thankful that I had taken the extra minute this morning to change from my jammie bottoms into a pair of yoga pants. I'm not sure I could have faced the parents at tonight's PTA meeting knowing that they quite possibly saw me cleaning dog vomit from the back seat of my car in my jammies!

Now I ask you, is this anyway to start your day?

I cannot tell you how much my girls only cruise is needed! Thursday cannot come fast enough!

And just because I'm a giver I've decided to share...

Enjoy!

Happy Valentines Day.

Peanut has two main teachers and is in an AGP class. Three classes with a total of 62 kids, three teachers and a bus driver who is too sweet. Valentines for 66! Seriously, why can I not just grab a few boxes of standard Valentines from Wal-Mart and be done with it? Nope, I just can't do it. Instead I...

Melt 5 bags of white chocolate

Dip a pretzel rod in the warm chocolate...

Sprinkle it with red and pink sugar crystals...

Chill while dipping another tray...

Bag in cute Valentines bags, tie with red and pink ribbon, die cut 66 hearts, make Peanut sign them and then attach them to the ribbon.

Cute? Yes.

A lot of work? Absolutely.

Something I'll do again? Probably.

Your turn, share your valentines...

Happy Valentines Day!

A & B turn 2!

Our little cousins, if we were Catholic they'd be our Godchildren but that's another post all together, had their 2nd birthday party yesterday. These two are just absolutely the most precious kids ever! Usually I get a ton of great pictures of B but this time A took the prize with this shot...

Seriously, could you not just grab a spoon and eat him?!!? He has the most incredible facial expressions ever. His eyebrows remind me of Jack Nicholson and let me tell you he knows how to use them! I swear the girls are going to be lining up!

B was a little more in the action so therefore more difficult to capture but just like last year girlfriend loved her cake!

We bought them an inflatable bounce house and some balls, I cannot wait to see them playing in it. Actually couldn't Babe so he dumped the balls out and they had a blast throwing them at him. It is such a blessing to be able to play with other peoples kids, you just hand them over or go home when we're tired, they're crying or they've pooped!

He's such a kid!

Happy 2nd birthday A & B I love you very, very much!

Happy Birthday Mom

Tomorrow my beautiful Mother turns 70. Now I know it may be in poor taste to post her age but I am so proud of her and the way she looks that I wanted to say how old she was just so everyone could say "dang Shawn, your Mama does not look her age"!

I'm ashamed to say that I do not have a recent picture of her. I promise as soon as we get together for her birthday I will take one of her and post it. I can only pray that she has given me all those good genes!

This is from her birthday last year

from Spring ball with Peanut

and my birthday in August

My Mom is the most amazing woman I know. She is first and foremost a Woman of God, during my Bible study her name was written not only in my book but that of my friends when asked to list someone who exemplifies humble. She loves my Daddy madly and after 52 years not many people can say that. She would fight for her children to the death if she had to and has come close a time or two. Is sweetly naive with most things of the world. Can still run circles around me. Has little to no desire to learn anything that has to do with a computer. Loves her Grandchildren unconditionally, which has proven to be hard more than once. Loves to bake, she makes an assortment of cookies for the garbage men, post office workers, neighbors and friends for Christmas, my husband even gets his very own platter of kolaczkiseach year, and she brings a big Tupperware container full of chocolate chip cookies to each of Peanuts softball games. She is unconditional and faithful, she has been at every event I have planned or been a part of. She was on my Rely For Life team staying in the cold for nearly 24 hours. She has beautiful white hair, loves to look her best and always has on her make-up. She just defines sassy!

She has taught me more by example than by her words. She has wonderful advice and like me is willing to share it wanted or not...sometimes. She has taught me to stand up for myself and my children. To love my husband before our kids which is very hard to do but necessary. To go to God first. To speak your peace but not go to bed angry. To work though pain and not complain about every little ache and pain. She has taught me the importance of family, friends and love and really that's all we all need to know.

Happy 70th birthday Mom I love you more than you will ever know!

F-Bomb Friday

I'm going on a cruise with a few of my best friends and 60 other ladies from the "hood" in just 13 days.

I am very much looking forward to 4 days of absolutely no responsibilities. Sleeping in, getting a few massages and laying in the sun with a cold drink in my hand is the only thing I have planned!

So I go online tonight to enter in all of my personal information and print my "fun pass". My passport number is needed so I go retrieve it from the safe. Guess what? Yep, it expires 2 days BEFORE I leave.

Oh now that's just FREAKING FABULOUS!

Now I had the stinkin' thing in my hand when I booked the cruise in November. Did I check the expiration date then? Apparently not!

FAIL!

Now since it's a "closed-loop" cruise, meaning we depart and arrive from the same port, I don't have to have a passport but it is highly recommended. So now I have to dig out my birth certificate, my marriage license and my drivers license and wait in the "I don't have a passport" line which I'm certain will not be nearly as speedy as the "I have my act together" line that my friends will be in.

Babe was already not too thrilled that I was cruising without him. He for some reason has this fear of me getting on the ship, going to Mexico and never coming back. Trust me if I was not going to come back I wouldn't "get lost" in Mexico. And if someone is looking to"steal" someone I'm pretty confident that I do not meet their criteria. They are looking for the rich and or young and considering I am so not either of those I feel safe. Sadly, the young and rich go missing all too often while visiting other countries so if the decision to get off the ship is made we will be staying together. It will be the 4 of us together at all times, if one pees we all pee!

So now I must decide if I should go in the morning, send in my renewal forms along with the fee and pay the extra $60 to expedite the application and an extra $14.95 each way to overnight the forms and still not have a guarantee of receiving my new passport on time. Or do I wait until I get back and take the expired passport just in case I need to be air lifted off of the ship or out of Mexico {providing I even get off the ship} back to the US.

Seriously? I'm usually so on top of things I cannot believe I pulled such a bone-headed move!

WTF?!!?

Now go visit Mimi at Living in France to read more F-Bomb Friday tales or link up your own.

I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink...Matt 25:36

I've been sick for the past week or so. Nothing more than a common cold or maybe a sinus infection courtesy of my darling daughters I'm sure. I've had a fever, a slight cough, the body aches, a stuffy nose, a runny nose {I've never understood how you can have both at the same time} and a sore throat. It has at times felt like my throat was an open sore. It was down right painful to swallow. The only thing that helped was a cool drink of water.

What if I had no water?

Many don't.

What?

Where am I taking this?

Uganda.

Kahama, Uganda to be exact.

Yes, Uganda. There are millions of people in Uganda that have no water. So as I complain about a sore throat and the body aches and say how a simple drink of water made me feel better there are people, children, that have no water.

Did you know that every 15 seconds a child under the age of 5 dies from a water-related illness?

I had no idea. I knew, through my church, there were people in Africa {one of many places} that were in need of clean water. I've made donations during our annual "water offerings" but I'm ashamed to say that's as much thought I have put into it.

My sister has taken it a step further. I am very proud of her and her friends. Partnering with their church, Willow Creek Community Church and Water Missions International they have committed to raise enough money to develop a solar powered water system in Kahama, Uganda.

The cost?

$25,000!

They've already raised $9,610!

That's a lot of money. If we didn't go out for lunch with our girlfriends this week but instead gave that $20 to my sister we could help her make a difference. I would love to be able to help them get to the $10,000 mark!

So here's my question. Will you help give someone a drink of water?

If you're willing to help please go here and make a donation.

Even $5 can make a difference! If I've learned anything over the years I've been doing volunteer work it's that no donation is a small donation!

As a bonus, I have planned something for those that make a donation so please be sure to let me know if you helped! If you prefer to donate anonymously but still want to be in on my little bonus you can email me at srmt1970@gmail.com, I promise to keep it our little secret!

"And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward".

Matthew 10:42

Hello my name is Rogue...

Yes, this is Rogue and I have hacked into my Moms blog.

My Mom, Shawn, reads a lot of blogs, too many if you ask me and the rest of the family but whatever. Anyway, I have heard her talk about blogs where the dogs of the house are given the opportunity to speak their minds on their Moms blogs. I think it's a wonderful idea however my Mom believes it to be weird and as a result will not allow me or my sisters access to her beloved MAC. She said something about not wanting to be known as the "weird dog lady" {she really has no clue that she already is one} and that people wouldn't enjoy hearing what I have to say. I totally disagree! So you can only imagine how excited I was upon discovering I was left unattended this morning. Alone and out of my cage! Two of my favorite things. Yes, I am alone and not locked up! Why? How? Well that dip-shit my Mom calls her husband forgot to put me in my cage this morning when he went to work. I swear he's the first to complain about the things I get into and how much it's costing him to have me around but he does nothing to help. Perhaps if he let me outside in the morning, giving my Mom a few more minutes to sleep, instead of going straight to the bathroom or fed me once in a while, removing one thing from my Moms evening routine, I wouldn't feel the need to poop in the house {of which I no longer do} or eat things that are not made for canine consumption. But hey I'm "just a dog", what do I know!

So, here I am and honestly it's not as much fun as I thought it would be. To tell you the truth I would much rather be romping through the sand, digging holes in the back yard, eating socks, panties or paper towels. Annoying Belle until she barks and gets yelled at, getting her into trouble is always fun. Or maybe chasing my tail or playing tag with my best friend Deja. Deja. I ♥ Deja! You really wanna know what I would rather be doing? I would love to be humping Deja, you know my BFWB {best friend with benefits}, right now. Yes, that would be such a better use of my "alone" time. Mom catches me every single time I'm trying to get my groove on. It's like she has an "I'm horny radar" or can hear Barry White singing, I thought he was just in my head. Sheesh! What's a guy have to do to have a little privacy in this house?

Anyway, back to the point of my post. I think I've gotten a bad wrap on this stupid blog! It's bad enough that everyone knows I have a fetish with socks and panties, that I love to roll in the sand and track it in the house, that I have to be watched while doing a very personal bodily function to see if anything "foreign" comes out of my ars and if I was a girl I would really be pissed off that everyone knows I weigh 73 pounds. But I totally think the line has been crossed. I believe it has gone too far and for the record I am fed up! So fed up that I'm coming clean right here right now. I'm tired of hanging my head in shame! I'm done hiding!

My name is Rogue and I have an erectile dysfunction. That would be an erectile dysfunction of the ears sickos! I'll have you know I can get 'em up any time I want! It's just the pressure to perform for my Mom, like a freaking puppet on a string, especially when there's a camera involved. It's getting the better of me I tell ya. The pressure to be "perfect" in today society is just too much! I feel as if I'm under a microscope all of time, this constant scrutiny must stop!

So I'm here to tell my Mom and everyone else...

No more forms!

No more tape!

No more freaking business cards!

No more hiding!

Hello my name is Rogue. I am a floppy eared German Shepherd and I'm freaking cute as hell!

Deja my love, where are you?

Crap, is that the garage door already?

ROGUE