Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Rogue, can I have one of your Xannax?...please

If I ever need to pop a Xannax and I find my bottle empty do you think Rogue will share one of his with me?

Yes, after a trip to the vet with Jewel and hearing all of my Rogue stories Vet Ellen thought it would be best to put Rogue on something to help "buffer his senses". As I've stated before I think my dogs completely understand what's going on and have the ability to get pissed off and fight back in their own doggy ways. Ellen stands firm on the whole 'they don't know spite, just anxiety' but really aren't they one of the same. No?

Just six days after he moved his cage 20' across the room and ate 1/3 of my pillow he struck again. As I was leaving him in his cage to run out for what I thought would be an hour or two I noticed his cage was close enough to the drapes for him to reach. I hesitated and then talked myself out of moving the cage since as usual I was running late. My two hours turned into all day, in fact Peanut actually beat me home. She called to let me know she was in safe, I heard her tell Rogue 'I'm coming Big Boy' then I heard a huge gasp. I knew immediately what had happened and I calmly said "he ate my curtains didn't he?". I arrived home about 5 minutes later and grabbed my camera before going to the bedroom because I knew it was going to be a Kodak moment.

If this is not an 'I'll show her to lock me in this damned cage and leave me all day' stunt than I don't know what is!

He even pulled the rod off the wall!

Looking on the bright side, I already have a red silk Mummy costume half done for Halloween!

He's been on his medicine for almost 2 weeks now and as suggested I'm locking him up for short periods of time when home so he'll stop associating the cage with me leaving. I've also been throwing the ball for him trying to wear his butt out in hopes that he'll be too tired to chew.

At this point I'm not so sure it's working. He did this last week while Honey laid sick and sleeping right there!

Several people have asked what the last straw is going to be. Honestly, I have to say the only thing that would make me get rid of him would be if he bit someone {without cause} and since he's such a gently giant I don't ever foresee that happening! He is absolutely precious and I do not regret getting him one single bit!

Seriously, what's not to love?!!? He lays {can you call that laying?} like this all of the time and chews on his bone or plays with the ball.

Deja and Rogue this morning getting ready to play ball.

It was a beautiful morning for playing ball. I took a bunch of video and if I had Becca's mad skills I would have that to show you too.

After working up a thirst Deja showed Rogue were the drinking fountain was and how to use it. This is why we teach our children not to put their mouths on the faucet!

I know it's crazy to many of you but my life will always have a dog, or two, or three, or four in it. They are unconditional and add such joy to your life, in fact I don't trust anyone that doesn't love dogs, especially mine!

Friday, March 26, 2010

National Pi day...who knew?

I'm a lot of things, bright isn't one of them. I like to think that what I lack in brains I make up for in personality!

I really have no clue where Peanut got her "smarts" from. She is in the accelerated/gifted program at school and does a higher level of science and math. To say I'm screwed when she needs help with homework would be an understatement! National Pi day was March 14th, I honestly had no clue why it was on that day until my smarty pants daughter explained it to me. Whatever...I'm funnier!

Her teacher asked for each kid to bring in a pie for Pi day. They were going to have lots of "fun" measuring and determining the radius, diameter and circumference of each pie. Now I don't know about you but that just screams fun to me! He said it didn't have to be a pie just something round. I pushed for one of those jumbo cookies from the mall but when I got "the look" from Peanut the guilt got the better of me. Being the very literal and black and white 10 year old that Peanut is she insisted on a pie. I love to bake but I'll be honest I've been known to throw a pie across the room if it didn't turn out just right. So I took a xannax deep breath, prepped everything and waited for Peanut to get home. She was thrilled that we were going to make an apple pie together and even more thrilled when I told her she was going to do everything but peel the apples. As I was walking out the door for my friends bachelorette party as the timer was beeping, Honey saw to it that it was finished, she is always there when I need her! When I asked Peanut if everyone liked her pie she said 'oh, yes Mommy, it was delicious'. When I asked her what the other kids brought in she gave me the run down and ended with 'Mommy, someone brought in a store-bought pie'. She said it with such shock, like she just couldn't believe that they didn't make it themselves that I had to giggle. I may have spoiled her and her sister just a little but as a SAHM isn't that my job?

She prepared the crust...

Separated the eggs...

made the filling and filled the pie...

she even made a decorative edge...

and like I've taught her she added a little something extra by hand cutting 3.14 for the top!

What a beautiful pie Pi!

I love sharing special "moments" with my girls. I hope it's times like these that they remember, especially since I didn't throw this one across the room, and not the times that I yell and scream and act a fool! I do this with my girls because I remember doing special things with my Mom and those memories always bring a smile to my face. I can only pray that my girls will be able to look back on their childhood and do the same!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Umm Excuse Me I'm With the Band!

Slacker...yep that's me!

I'm surrounded by go getter's, literally. I couldn't even enjoy a nap in the sun this afternoon because my neighbor { hey Doris I love you, you are the best neighbor ever} was outside working hard on some home improvement project { a total attempt to make our yard look like Sanford and Sons} and all the banging would have kept me awake plus she would have seen me out there napping at 1:30 in the afternoon therefore knowing what a complete and total lazy ass her neighbor is!

I'll admit it, I am a very lazy person. I enjoy having someone else do things for me. I miss my cleaning company terribly and cannot wait for the day to come when I can hire them back! I enjoy laying in the sun sipping something to take the edge off an iced tea. I enjoy staying up late and sleeping in! I enjoy a quiet home. Whatever, judge away...because I don't care!

So in my attempt to get back in the swing of blogging and completely entertaining you with my Peg Bundy June Cleaver life I cut my afternoon nap to 45 minutes and brewed a cup of coffee. The things I sacrifice in the name of blogging!

To quote Simon..."off we go".

While on the cruise with my girlfriends I ran into someone famous. So famous in fact that I couldn't help but to run over and say hi! Who was it? I know you're dying to find out! Well it was none other than Rick Larrimore himself!

Crickets are chirping aren't they? You're wondering you the flying fun Rick Larrimore is right? So were my friends especially when I broke rule #1 and went off alone to meet some strange man!

I present, Rick Larrimore!

I know, I know he looks just like Rod doesn't he?!!?

I'm just beyond thrilled he didn't pull this costume out of his suitcase!

Shawn from Swaneesinger is his backup singer. I love Shawn! She and I have been bloggy friends for about a year so when I saw him I thought for sure she would be there too. You can only imagine my disappointment when she wasn't! I was able to find out that she was coming with him to Florida in 2 weeks so I made plans to met her while she was singing just 15 minutes from my house.

As soon as she walked in I knew it was her, she is more beautiful in person if that's at all possible! She said, " I hope you don't mind eating with the band?". Do you think she was afraid of eating alone with me. I had joked about harvesting her organs!??!

I enjoyed a wonderful lunch with her and the band and was thrilled that they pulled no punches with me. After the guys left we may or may not have replaced our puny dessert plates with lunch plates and hit the dessert table where I may or may not have been teased by the man in line behind me that I had exceeded my daily strawberry quota after piling strawberries on top of the 4 layer chocolate cake. When it came time to pay the bill I was told it was on the house because I was with the band. Oh, do you now how cool that was. "Ummm excuse me, I'm with the band!"

Since I was unable to make the show they were kind enough to let me sit in on the sound check before heading back to reality. It was a thrill to not only meet Shawn but to hear her beautiful voice as well. It was also nice being drooled over by the band, even though I found it slightly disturbing that the saxophone player liked my feet, they really know how to boost a girls ego!

Here's a shout-out to my new close and personal friends Rick, Steve, Jeff, Doug, Louie and Joe! Love ya guys and be nice to Shawn will ya, she's defiantly a rose between the thorns!

Do I look like Sasquatch next to her or what?

Friday, March 19, 2010

I'm such a tease!

I'm crazy busy and have no time to write a real post but I will give you a little teaser about what's coming in the next few weeks.

* After coming home and finding more damage from my sweet little boy Rogue he is now taking doggy Xannax. Do you think he'll share?

* I met someone famous on the cruise and got to have lunch with the band.

* Bridal shower, Bachelorette party and wedding oh my!

* Peanut and I baked a pie for Pi day.

* Taylor Swift.

* What's in my pretzel?

* Peanut's room make over.

Lots has happened since I've been a blog slacker. My girlfriend is getting married tomorrow and then I think my calendar may actually be clear or at least manageable until Spring Break...maybe...so I'm making a goal to cover all of those teasers before Spring Break. I hope I can do it!

I love this picture, is it wrong to love a picture of yourself?
{This was the only man I kissed at the Bachelorette party, I was such a good girl!}

Monday, March 15, 2010

I Heart Faces

Ohhhh, I saw this weeks challenge and had to link up. This is one of my all time favorite pictures!

Skiing in Utah was a little chilly for this Florida girl. Poor Peanut was about to freeze to death!

Seriously, how freaking cute is this?!!? Now head on over to see all the other "Bundled Up" pictures.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Six Words Saturday

Today Is A Beautiful Spring Day!

After a horrendous winter here in central Florida days like this make me so happy! I know it sounds like I'm being a whiny brat since many of you live in freezing snow covered lands but you have to understand that I don't! So enduring 4 plus months of temperatures in the low 40's I was beginning to think Florida was broken and I wasn't liking it at all!

I slept in this morning, waking up to my darling husband calling me to say good morning. I rolled out of bed expecting more of what we've had for the last 2 days, windy, chilly to the bone and rainy. When I opened the blinds I was delighted to see the most beautiful blue skies, feel a strong breeze and a temperature of 68! I quickly opened all of the windows and the sliding glass doors. brewed a cup of coffee and sat to enjoy this gorgeous day.

Softball this afternoon will be sunny and perfect for pictures and hopefully the weather will last through the night for a wonderful time with my girlfriends as we party it up at Bebe's bachelorette party!

Yes my Six Words are definitely,

Today Is A Beautiful Spring Day!

Go visit Cate at Show My Face by clicking on the button above for more Six Words Saturday.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Hey, who are you looking at?

I'm still trying to get all the kinks worked out of my back and after a less than relaxing massage this morning I had to soak in a Epsom Salt tub. {side-note, did you know that an Epsom salt bath removes the toxins that are brought to the surface of your muscles after a massage or hard workout? I had no clue I thought it was just to soak an ingrown toenail in}. Diana, my massage therapist, has no fear of digging in. She has left bruises and brought me to tears many times throughout this process. Today she worked solely on my hamstrings and my psoas muscle, my chiropractor believes these two muscles are way too tight and may be causing a lot of my lower back pain. I now feel like I'm having labor pains in my stomach from her working that stupid psoas muscle of which I had no clue what it was or where it was located 7 days ago when he pushed on it, I tell ya I about jacked that man in the face! To say I hurt a little would be an understatement. Anyway, the point of this post is once again Rogue. I know you may be sick of him but sadly until I finish the other posts I have floating around in my head he's all I have.

I'm soaking in the tub, we've already established that, drinking a Zen Green Tea with honey, the house is quite and I can feel my muscles starting to relax when A-Hole Rogue comes in. He first tries to drink from the tub, ewww! Then he moves to lick my toes, kind of nice ewww again! Then he walks over to the mirror looks at himself and then all but jumps out of his skin when he catches my reflection in the mirror. He honestly had no idea it was me! He would walk over to me and then return the mirror and bark at me, then return to me lick my face and go back to the mirror to bark at me again. Because my luscious i-phone is almost always within reach and because I found this so funny I videod it.

I dare anyone to come into my house uninvited!


Wednesday, March 10, 2010

R-O-G-U-E...that's how I spell A-Hole!

Has anyone read the book or seen the movie Marley and Me? I wasn't a big fan because I hate movies that make me cry. Not only did it make me cry it made me question how those people allowed that dog to act that way. It made me think how dare those people get angry at that poor dog for being bad when it's their fault he's acting that way. It made m yell at the TV "you're the failure here not Marley!" They totally failed to give him the training he both needed and deserved!

I said I would never have a dog that was so unmannered.

I said I would never allow a dog to ruin my things.

I said I would never...I would never...I would never...

Well I'm here to say NEVER SAY NEVER!

I think I'm going to start writing my own book. My own Going Rogue. My book will sadly make the things that that bad dog Marley did look like kids play. Each and every day Rogue takes me through a gauntlet of emotions, here's a few.

Fear- I wake up each morning with him jumping full speed on the bed to wake me up with his wet doggy kisses. He does this with no regard for my personal space. He usually lands on my stomach and ends up on my pillow looking me in the eyes, breathing heavy and wanting a kiss, a lot like Babe at night! At his last vet visit, 3 weeks ago, he was closing in on 85 pounds and he just turned 9 months on the 3rd! So this fear is caused by two things. One, that's no way to wake up, it literally scares the crap of me and two, as much as I love his size and wanted a big dog I'm getting a little scared wondering what he's going to cap out at!

Anger- He really knows how to piss me off! Mostly because he's just a baby and has such a high energy level. He's always "on" and is constantly chasing, barking, biting, jumping on or plowing over one of his sisters. He's like a bull in a china shop and is constantly knocking over my large candle sticks, chasing tennis balls under furniture and then digging at the floor to get them. He not only makes me mad but poor Belle is straight up over him, like any big sister Belle is quick to "yell" a him.

Happiness- He does make me happy. I love him, I think that's evident because he's still here! He loves me and has to be with me all of the time. If I'm on the computer he's laying on the floor by my feet. If I'm cooking he's under my feet forcing me to step over him because dud doesn't move for anyone. If I'm in bed he's either in there with me or laying at the foot of the bed on the only dog bed we have left {he's eaten two, literally eaten them!}. If I get up he opens his eyes. If I take one step he lifts his head. If I take two steps he's standing and on my third step he's up and following me. If I take a bath, he stands on the step watching me and tries to drink from the tub. If I'm in the bathroom, he has learned from Deja how to to open doors, he comes in and tries to get on my lap. If I remember to lock the door her lays outside the door with his nose pressed against the bottom breathing heavy, like he's telling me to hurry up. It's an unconditional love and that make me happy.

Stress {financial}- He eats a running ton! I feed him 4 cups of kibble, 1/3 of a can of wet and a 1/3 of a can of green beans every day. All of my dogs are on a holistic diet which does cost a little more, a healthy diet means less fillers and more protein so they eat less, 1 cup of holistic food is equivalent to about 2 - 2 1/2 cups of the grocery store food. Because of this diet they look amazing and stay healthy which means less vet bills, well theoretically it would mean less vet bills but since he's half goat and is always eating "things" that's not so true with him. Since I have 4 to feed I spend about $250-$300 a month on dog food!

Confusion-He's locked in his cage when no one is home. So riddle me this Batman, how does he get a large decorative bed pillow that was sitting at least 12" away into his cage? Three times! How does he manage to move his cage to the other side of the room, while in it? How does he manage to swallow and digest whole socks without choking or getting caught? How does he do such terrible things and still manage to look at me and tell me he loves me with a simple tilt of that huge square head? How does he continue to melt me time and time again?

Deja is my car buddy, she loves the car and I take her with me often. If it's nice outside I leave the windows down and she sits on the front seat and waits for me to return. If it's hot out I leave the car running with the air on and lock her in with the second set of keys. Rogue has discovered he too likes the car so I've been taking him with me once and a while. Deja's not a fan of sharing her car time with Mom, she doesn't get angry she, like any true teenager, sulks. Because of this I try to limit Rogue's car rides to once or twice a week and only when taking Peanut to school. Deja can be trusted to sit in the car for 30 minutes or more. Rogue A-hole would freaking eat my car from the inside out if I left him!

Ellen, my incredible vet and a reader of my blog, says dogs aren't capable of emotion therefor they cannot be spiteful. She calls his destructive behavior "separation anxiety". Well, I'm not buying it Ellen! Rogue A-Hole is shades spiteful, plain and simple! I locked him up this morning and was gone for less than 15 minutes and when I returned I found some serious evidence of his "separation anxiety".

At first glance there's nothing alarming about this picture, especially if you don't know what you're looking at. Well let me enlighten you. His cage was under the window and the pillow that's destroyed and in his cage was in the corner next to the nightstand when I left him. That A-Hole somehow got the pillow and moved his cage about 15' across my bedroom!

He's just chillin', hoping I won't notice the obvious but he knows he's in trouble. He has one ear down and will soon have both of them pinned to his head in submission and fear! I'm also sure me yelling "what have you done? Rogue, you're such an
A-Hole!" and then storming off for my camera might have tipped him off that Momma wasn't happy!

Yep, it's sunk in, he knows now that he's busted!

My beautiful pillow now looks like this.

Well at least it matches this one. He did this while I was on the cruise and again last week when we went of for dinner!

If anyone knows the dog whisperer, one of those quacks dog psychics or a publisher please feel free to send them my information.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Check this out!

My bloggy friend, turned in real life friend, Becca at The Texas Darlings has a company called Darling Memories. She asked for her friends to send her pictures from Spring Break so she could make a sample video. I just watched it and it was such fun! Peanut made the "cut" three times and Deja and I can be seen sharing an ice cream! I will be sending her some pictures to put something together for me after this Spring Break...you need to do the same!

Becca, one of my Bloggy BFF'S, and I met in December in Orlando when she and her family came for a visit. We of course shared a margarita and talked like we had been friends for years. Love you Becca!

Check out the Spring Break video!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Hey IRS, bite me!

I have two very simple words for the IRS.

Bite Me!

That's right you heard me, bite me!

I'm tired of watching my husband work his ass of, many days getting up and leaving the house before we rise and having to warm his dinner in the microwave because it's nearly bedtime when he gets home, so the IRS can take almost HALF of his pay!

They're taking half of his income to help support a war that I do not believe we should be fighting {for the record, I totally support our troops and the families they leave behind, it's fighting someone else's fight I do not agree with}, sending men and woman into space {a place we will never be able to live}, feed, clothe, and provide shelter for convicted felons {if someone is found guilty and sentenced to death why wait years? Strap 'em in and flip the freaking switch. If our judicial system was a little more swift than perhaps our crime rate wouldn't be so high}, and to provide daily necessities for others too lazy to work for themselves! Our tax dollars should not go towards buying new china for the White House every year, jet fuel to fly the first lady across the country for dinner and a concert, vacation homes in multiple states and, and, and!

Taxes can be a good thing. If handled correctly they could help support our military, pay for our government officials who through the educated voter help make America a great country, lend a helping hand to someone who is unable to support themselves due to illness or injury not laziness, feed the hungry and protect the children of this country, fund medical research, support our injured military and the families of our fallen hero's and pay the many first responders that lay their lives on the line each and every day to protect us.

My husband is honest and works hard. He makes a good living. Nothing is handed to him. So why should he be forced to hand what he works hard for to someone who does not work or has not worked and paid their share? I hate when people feel they deserve something? Entitlement is such an ugly character!

I personally believe that taxes should be the same for every working, income earning person in this country with the exception of our military, police and fire fighters. In my opinion they pay their taxes by laying their lives on the line day in and day out. Keeping things fair shouldn't really be that difficult, we all just simply pay the same percentage. Lets just make up a number... 5%. If you work hard and earn less that's fine you pay 5%. If you work hard and earn more good for you, you still pay 5%. Why should earning more be punishable?

We meet with the accountant this afternoon to see just how bad we'll be brutalized this year and to discuss our pending audit...Ahhh there it is, the cause of my anger this morning against the IRS. Yes, we've been notified that we're being audited and I may or may not be a little upset about that. Audit is such a dirty word isn't it? It insinuates wrong doing. It can force the honest tax payer to jump through hoops and make them question their integrity. It forces you to search for receipts and records that may not be readily available because saving something for 3+ years may classify you as a hoarder. It can make you angry and bitter. But sadly, audits are necessary since there are so many that lie and cheat. However, for someone like my husband who has paid in more than his share, been honest and conformed to a faulty system it really sucks!

So, once again I say to the IRS, bite me!

I feel a little better, not much but I'll take it. It's a good thing I have a fun family night planned tonight because I need a little happy. The Taylor Swift concert with my girls and watching my sweet hubby endure another young girl screaming frenzy {remember he went with us to both Twilight and New Moon and wore an Edward t-shirt} is just what I need. In the mean time I'm off to dig up receipts!

Monday, March 1, 2010

This damned dog!

I'm telling you we could have cameras running 24/7 in this house and be the best entertainment y'all have ever seen...just watching the dogs!

I threw my back out and have been very slow moving for 8 days now. Slow moving may be an understatement since the couch is now my BFF and my Mom has had to come over to vacuum and bring dinner!

Anyway, I saw Rogue out back several times throughout the day Friday digging. I just assumed he wanted to visit China, I was in too much pain to fight with him so I let him dig. Whatever!

It was getting late and Babe was still at work, I was actually up and moving around in the kitchen when Honey opened the door to let the dogs in. I heard her scream "he has something in his mouth". Trying not to move too quickly I turned to see something flopping from either side of his mouth. All I knew was that whatever it was was big! She yelled again "it's a frog, one of those huge frogs". Peanut starts yelling "he's killing it, he's killing it!". At this point he comes straight for me. Why because he loves me so much and wants to impress me with his latest kill. I run walk at tortoise speed out of the kitchen as he chases me, jumps on my back and drops his prize at my feet. Oh, he was so proud of himself and could not understand why all the woman in the house were yelling. I turned and saw this huge, no really it was huge, salamander thing laying on the floor. It was slimy, covered in dirt and in my house. Honey made her way on top of the kitchen island in record time and was screaming, Peanut was crying terrified that whatever it was was poisonous and Rogue was going to die and I was frozen in place waiting for that joker to scurry up my leg. Where was our knight in shining armor when we needed him? Oh how I hate when Babe has to work late!

I looked quickly to see what I could throw on top of that nasty thing while Peanut locked Rogue in his cage, the every so brave and mouthy 15 year old was still on top of the island almost in tears. I'm not sure if she was terrified or laughing at me because I was helpless and completely freaked out {I think I may have dribbled in my pants...just a little}. Either way she was laughing/crying and of no assistance.

The first thing I saw was Belles food bowl so I grabbed it and laid it over the mystery creature.

Now we had to see what is under the bowl. Peanut, my brave one, lifted the bowl just enough for me to get a picture. "Oh, my gosh it's head is up, its head is up" is all I remember hearing or saying, whatever, I was honestly freaked the heck out!

While I zoomed in on the picture to try and figure out what we were dealing with Honey called her BFF across the street and her parents came over to help. Mark, with a little help from Peanut, slid a piece of cardboard under the bowl and carried the unknown thing outside.

We waited until we were in their yard before lifting the bowl just in case it scurried off I didn't want my dogs finding it again in the morning. It was still in the same position and still had the power to make me cringe and take 10 steps in the other direction. We came to the conclusion that it was dead, more than likely frozen from the crazy cold temperatures we're still having. Lisa was actually brave enough to touch it, I was still wigging the freak out especially since Honey was nice enough to tell me how funny it would have been had Rogue brought his prize to Mommy in bed! Y'all, I would have died on the spot if he had brought that thing into my bed! I wasn't close enough to it to smell it or brave enough to touch it so I was relying on Mark and Lisa to let me know what it was. Lisa said it smelled and was hard. Mark said he was doubtful rigormortis had set in so quickly since there appeared to be no decay and he began to question if it was even real. This was just too much for me! If that joker's fake and I called the neighbors for help, embarrassed would not begin to define me.

I went in for a closer look. As I reviewed the picture I noticed how perfectly spaced its teeth were. Seriously?!!? Are you kidding me?!!? That asshat nearly scared me to death with a freaking made in China rubber toy!

Honey's friend pulled in, took one look at it an announced "that's fake". Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I told him. He then picked it up took a closer look and even smelled it and said "yep, it's fake". Again I told him Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! All that craziness for a rubber lizard!

Can you tell Peanut was a little annoyed with this entire ordeal?

She did however find it humorous to make fun of her sister and I the rest of the night, BRAT!

Living in Florida has it bonuses but all of the crazy creatures is definitely not one of them!

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