I watched Dancing with the Stars this morning and ugly cried during J.R.'s dance. It was extremely touching! The fact that I may or may not be premenopausal I'm sure had nothing to do with it! If his story and this beautiful dance does not bring a tear to your eye you need to check for a pulse!
After lounging around on the couch sipping coffee all morning I sat to have a little lunch and flip through the People Extra that came yesterday. On page 34 I saw my friends bestie. It's official, I hate her! She is only 3 years older than me and is smokin' hot! Good genes can only get you so far she clearly has the energy, drive and desire to work for her appearance. Me? Not so much!
I violently ripped through the next few pages and stopped to look over some beauty tips. I love to see new ways to highlight my eyes or help hide
Finally I mustered the energy to get out of my jammies, after all it was 2 pm, and get dressed for the day. Sadly, the only thing that looked appealing to me were my yoga pants and a t-shirt with holes in it. Whatever, at least I'm dressed!
As I was washing my face I felt stubble on my chin. Perfect! I love having a face hairier than a freaking Chia Pet! When I upped my hormone cream, you know the one that's supposed to help me find my missing libido, they told me it may cause facial hair. I thought whatever, I already have that. This is not facial hair at all. It's actually bristles from a wire brush that some skinny, young bitch with the libido of an 18 year old sneaks in and inserts into my skin every night. Yes, every night! And people wonder why I'm not sleeping. I'm trying to catch and kill that bitch that comes to my house with a pouch of "facial hairs"!
While I was plucking my chin I saw the pores on my cheeks. They actually resemble baby swiss more than smooth skin. Super! So I applied a layer of Boscia black mask, poured another cup of coffee and came to my office to pout. Looks like nothing on my to-do is getting done again today!
I'm really looking like a MILF here, huh!
Yeah, aging sucks!